Wild Things

Man, weather can be wild sometimes. We've gone from a balmy, spring-like Monday to Tornado Tuesday to Snow Day Wednesday and that's just so far this week. I make a whole lot of fun of Cutie Pie because he is mildly obsessed with radar and forecasts, and he would watch the Weather Channel like sports 24-7, if only we had cable. But I can see the draw. It's big, it's wild, it's uncontrollable and nearly unpredictable... although he would probably disagree with me on that. Because an intelligent enough weather person, or perhaps a cute enough weather woman (he has crushes on most of them), can certainly give a highly accurate forecast IHHO. (I remain unconvinced).

But there is no doubt that a force strong enough to snap a tree in half, or pull it up by its roots and deposit it upon your roof is certainly interesting, to say the least.

And a trampoline in a tree...you just don't see that everyday.

But it was also interesting how quickly a house could move in my mind from a cozy, nesting place for a family, from a point of pride and status....to a pile of nailed-together wood whose only true purpose and worth is to remain standing and sheltering three small people huddled on the stairs should a gi-normous pine tree decide to fall on top of them. What clarity a bit of wind and rain can provide!

I think I'm usually pretty good under pressure. I had to laugh afterward, though, when I thought about how fast my heart was beating and how I was gulping in ragged, shaky breaths but I was still able to have that breezy, "isn't this fun, kids?" crazy Stepford mom voice coming out. Later they said they weren't scared. And that is good. Because Mama was scared enough for all of us.

It's Hot, and I'm Not Kidding

Houston, we have survived Week One of first grade. I say we, because naturally I've been as nervous and anxious as Big Stuff has. Or I guess more accurately, I've been nervous and anxious. She's been fine. Cutie Pie had to point out to me last week that I was not the one going back to school. Like I don't know that. Sheesh. (Maybe I should change his name to Smarty Pants...) Something about the Times They Are A Changin' just gets me all tied up in knots! Can't help it. Maybe I'm just going stir-crazy. Because it's like ONE THOUSAND degrees outside, and you don't even want to think about going outside, even to travel a mile or two in your swamp of a van so you can run as fast as you can to the door of your destination and collapse inside in the AC. I mean, are we living on the SUN or what? Yes, I'm a total wimp. Yes, I should be able to handle the heat better. I'm from Florida, the Sunshine State, for Pete's sake, where it is hotter than your wildest nightmares of Hell for most of the year. Which is why I MOVED, hello? But at least in my current state, you have the hope of cooler temperatures just around the corner. And I am all about hope. In the meantime, I will be hibernating indoors and talking myself down from the proverbial ledge, called Changes I Didn't Ask for Nor Want. Especially those involving little girls growing up.

A Little Bit of Knowledge

A little bit of knowledge can be a confusing thing. Especially when your knowledge was acquired in Kindergarten. And especially when you require technically correct answers to all questions, and you are completely colorblind when it comes to shades of gray. So yesterday, I'm watching the fireworks...tear ducts and heart overflowing with pride and gratitude. I'm thinking about bravery and sacrifice and love. I'm looking around me wondering if anyone else is appreciating the "reason for the season," so to speak. And I think to myself (haughtily)... By God, MY kids are going to appreciate the significance of this moment! So I start talking in Big Stuff's ear about why we have fireworks on the 4th of July. It went something like this:

Me: Nice fireworks, huh?
Her: Yep.
Me: Big Stuff, do you know why we have fireworks?
Her: No, why?
Me: Because we want to remember when we became our own country.
Her: You mean Florida?
Me: No, honey, the United States. You know, America.
Her: Does everyone in the world have July 4th? Do they have it in China?
Me: Well, no, only Americans. People in other countries celebrate other stuff. But a long time ago in America, some people wanted us to have our own country instead of being part of Britain.
Her: What's Britain?
Me: (Note to self: Drill it down). That's a country way across the ocean.
Her: What do people in Mexico have?
Me: Cinco de Mayo.
Her: Do they speak Spanish or English?
Me: Yes. Anyway, we wanted to have our own country and be free. A lot of brave people had to fight a war so we could be free.
Her: That's the war B's mommy is in.
Me: No, actually, B's daddy is in that war, but I'm talking about a different war. (Note to self: Avoid talking about wars.) So, remember George Washington?
Her: Yes, he was our first president. Now George Bush is.
Me: (Relieved) Right!!
Her: Mom, does George Bush know George Washington?
Me: You mean personally? No, George Washington lived more than 200 years ago.
Her: That was before I was born.
Me: (Relieved) Yes!
Her: Was he the one who got killed before I was born?
Me: (Ackkkkk!) Killed? No, he died before you were born but he didn't get killed.
Her: Someone shot him.
Me: (Acckkkkk!) No, you're thinking of another president. So anyway..... how do you like being part of the best country on earth?
Her: Good.
Me: (Relieved) Nice fireworks, huh?

Ivory Soap Floats

Here's something fun to do: Pitch a tent in the woods and drift in and out of sleep all night while looking at a zillion stars and a brighter-than-bright three-quarter moon. Don't worry about large beetles the size of your fist flying into your lantern. Don't worry about wee girls still giggling in the tent at 10 p.m. Don't worry about the woman who saw you completely nekkid ('cause that's what we say in the woods) when you had to run out of the shower to save your youngest child from being dropped headfirst onto the concrete floor by your oldest child. All that's chicken feed compared to the stars! And a kayak ride on a silent lake at dusk with just the moon and some frogs as your witnesses. And a group of grown-up Boy Scouts from Jacksonville asking you to take their picture and then sharing their bountiful assortment of brownies and flag-shaped cookies with your wide-eyed children. And playing Uno until you've laughed yourself silly. And stuffing yourself with beef stroganoff, which tastes amazingly delish when cooked on a camp stove. Yep, that's a really fun thing to do! Welcome, Summer....

My Well-Oiled Machine: Kerchunk

Is it possible to have blogger's block? I have nothing worthwhile to write about. So I'll just write about something non-worthwhile. You lucky reader you! Tomorrow is the last day of school for Big Stuff. Yikes! Just yesterday was the First Day of School. How did she learn to read, do math and discuss world events in just one day? It's incredible, I tell you. I must admit I'm rather rattled about the prospect of (dum, dum, dum)... a CHANGE IN MY ROUTINE. For someone who fancies herself to be somewhat carefree and spontaneous, it's a real shock to realize I'm not spontaneous at all. I feel like the world is spinning out of control! How will I be able to form an uninterrupted thought with the gals at my shoulder all day, every day? Where am I going to find my Piece of Quiet? More importantly, what will I do without a new episode of Lost for three whole months?! It boggles the mind. It's like my routine is this gorgeous piece of artwork I have sculpted out of nothing, and it's working like a machine, right? A machine that breaks down once or twice a week, but still. It's MY machine, so don't knock it. And now I have to let it go and start all over again. I don't know why I'm so rattled. There are LOTS of good things happening this summer. Here's one: We're going on vacation soon! I have a feeling that a week of no phone, no TV, no driving to and fro, very little food preparation, a minimum of laundry and the sound of waves will help transition me into a better frame of mind. The hardest decision I have in front of me is what book to take. Yeah, baby! Now that's a change in routine I can get on board with.

Keeping Me on My Toes

What a strange April! It is still, STILL cold and dreary here and not in the April-Showers-Bring-May-Flowers way. More in the I-thought-we-lived-in-the-balmy-south, not-northern-London kind of way. We uncovered the pool though..."opening" it for the season, in a hopeful gesture. We had to really, since it was turning green and we couldn't see the bottom, which shouldn't have been hard to see since the thing is leaking water like a sieve. However, it just took a little vacuuming and some handy-dandy chemicals from the haughty pool place down the street and voila - it is blue again. An unnatural shade of blue perhaps, but blue nonetheless. It's a good thing too, since the green pool was throwing Small Fry's world all out of kilter. She kept chanting, as if to drive the stake further into our hearts, "Da pool is green, Da pool is yucky, Da pool is smelly." Of course, they now think they will be able to start swimming any day. Highly unlikely, as the temperature of the water is hovering around 54 degrees! It has been a strange spring, there's no denying it. Best event of the week? Small Fry taking her first dance lesson, "just like my sister." The huge grin never left her face as she stood on her toes, "twinkling" to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star...jumping high and obnoxiously loudly in her tap shoes to Itsy Bitsy Spider...and maneuvering her chubby little legs into first position with her hands so Teacher could slide a piece of "Sparkle" Pizza between her out-turned toes. Big Stuff did not handle it as magnanimously as I would have hoped. She tried every trick in her book to derail the whole thing, from crying to complaining to telling her sister where to stand...to finally jumping out on the floor with them and dancing as "Queen of the Three-Year-Olds" when I stepped out of the room for two minutes. It was appalling, yes, but also interesting to see such raw competition and jealousy hanging out there in the wide open. All that stuff usually goes underground and operates well below the surface when you're dealing with grown-ups. I like the idea that I can pretty much read everything going on inside her, although I am occasionally too dumb to get it. She hasn't started hiding things yet. A very good thing. And probably well-designed. It seems like you always get a little time to figure them out before they jump into the next phase, which sends you reeling back into the Land of Inadequacy and Self-Doubt. Keeps you on your toes. Just like April.

A Good Egg

Happy Easter!

Spring!

I guess technically pansies are Fall flowers, but don't they look scrumptious? The flowers and trees are beginning to bust out around here, and you can't help but notice. And maybe even take a whiff when you get a spare minute! Although I guess technically pansies don't have a scent. Oh well, the heck with technicalities! Spring is coming and there's no stopping that fine lady now!

Prayer in Spring
Robert Frost
Oh, give us pleasure in the flowers in the flowers today;

And give us not to think so far away

As the uncertain harvest; keep us here

All simply in the springing of the year.
Oh, give us pleasure in the orchard white,

Like nothing else by day, like ghosts by night;

And make us happy in the happy bees,

The swarm dilating round the perfect trees.
And make us happy in the darting bird

That suddenly above the bees is heard,

The meteor that thrusts with needle bill,

And off a blossom in mid-air stands still.
For this is love and nothing else is love,

The which it is reserved for God above

To sanctify to what far ends He will,

But which it only needs that we fulfill.

We are Sick with the Desire for the Sun

I am sorely uninspired. I may be going stir crazy. It happens every year around this time...one day I wake up, and Hello! I'm ready for SPRING. Right now! I love my bit of winter (not much of a bit, but a bigger chunk than I used to get in Florida). Fires, bundling up, hot lattes - yes, these are good things. But one day it just happens...and I'm ready for spring. I've been depriving myself of the outdoors for far too long. This year I'm especially excited about warm weather, as we have recently acquired a SWIMMING POOL. I am constantly dreaming of days and nights spent swimming in it, sitting by it, looking at it, skimming it for leaves. (Well, not the last part :-) ) I'm a bit like Clark Griswold, gazing into my backyard. But my mama always says, "Don't wish the days away, OHM." And I generally try to listen to my mama.

I found this: The name February is believed to have derived from the name 'Februa' taken from the Roman 'Festival of Purification'. The root 'februo' meaning 'I purify by sacrifice'. And this: February is merely as long as is needed to pass the time until March. - Dr. J. R. Stockton. Yep, that's how I'm feeling. Sacrificially passing the time.

Maybe I need to make one of those gratitude journals that Oprah or someone is always talking about. I do actually do this sometimes - it's amazing to literally count your blessings. Here's my top 5:
1. Kids who make Valentine's cookies.
2. Friends who call to ask how I'm doing. And are actually interested in the answer.
3. A guy who washes dishes, clothes and children with very few complaints.
4. Parents who love their grandkids.
5. Sermons that make ya cry on Sunday. And think.

I found two more:
There is a privacy about winter which no other season gives you… Only in winter…can you have longer, quiet stretches when you can savor belonging to yourself. - Ruth Stout

Keep your faith in beautiful things; in the sun when it is hidden, in the Spring when it is gone. -Roy R. Gibson
Amen.

Happy Groundhog's Day

I had the best of intentions. Today it was my turn to read to Big Stuff's class. I've been preparing for days. I was so excited. Big Stuff and I chose a book about Groundhog's Day, in honor of February 2. We had gotten two groundhog books from the library a few weeks back, so it was perfect. One book I did not care for, as it depicted Godfrey Groundhog being kidnapped, tied up and thrown into a burlap bag in order to keep a greedy ski lodge baron racoon in business for six more weeks. ( Why do they write books like this?? ) The other, feauting a groundhog named Geoffrey, was better, with a more desirable message about over-hyping by the media and the dangers of hysterical papparazzi. It also had nicer drawings. Which one do you think made it into my bag this morning? You got it...it was Godfrey. I hope I'm asked back again.

The kids in Big Stuff's class were all adorable, and they asked great, mama-sweat-producing questions, such as "If all the groundhogs in the world come out at the same time, what if some see their shadows and some don't, then how much winter is left?" To which I replied, "What do you think?" Always a good reply to a kindergartener, I've found. After the unfortunate Godfrey finally escaped his kidnapper and did not see his shadow, his friends sat on the racoon and extorted free skiing from him for the rest of the winter. ( Why do they write books like this?? )

Next I was asked to read a book about killer whales. The children all cried out with horror when I read the line about what whales eat: fish, squid, seals and PENGUINS. "You mean like HAPPY FEET? Penguins? REALLY, OHM?" ( Why do they write books like this? ) I hope I'm asked back again.

People, I Could Make Ice at this Temperature

Yankees everywhere: Don't laugh. But it is 34 degrees in Atlanta today. That's thirty-freaking-four. And that was the high. Brrrrr. That is bitter. OK, I know it's not really bitter, but for Atlanta... it is bitter. I walked over to a neighbor's house a little while ago and gave myself an asthma attack. And what is it about our immune systems that cause them to completely fail us the day, the hour, the minute it turns cold? They say it's because we're indoors, touching our faces, spreading germs on door handles and such, but how does that occur so quickly? Theoretically, you'd think it would take a few weeks for the germs to get cranked up in our bodies and subsequently spread. We've had a rather mild winter here so far - I was wearing shorts the day I planted my cold-weather pansies - but when it turned cold a week or so ago, BAM, everyone in my family immediately got sick. You Yanks must have kick-butt immune systems. And see how sneaky the winter is here? See that gorgeous blue sky behind the Georgia Pines? Makes you think it's safe to venture outside. Ugh, give me a roaring bonfire and 60 blankets please.

Dear Cutie Pie is sick today. Really, really sick...as in I'm-almost-worried-about-him sick. He stayed home from work today for the first time in 11 years. So I'm making chicken soup. Doesn't it look good? You need smell-o-vision to truly appreciate it in all its yummy, chickeny glory, but trust me... it is worthy. I will eat it tonight too, as sort of a preventative measure. Number one, Cutie Pie and I are not allowed to be sick at the same time. It's in the Bylaws. Number two: I have a girls weekend planned in a few days, and I would be devastated to miss it. When I have my mid-afternoon break today, I'll be reading my new magazine, dreaming of warmer days, and desperately trying to fend off germs and bacteria of all sorts. En Garde! Wish me luck.