A Little Bit of Knowledge

A little bit of knowledge can be a confusing thing. Especially when your knowledge was acquired in Kindergarten. And especially when you require technically correct answers to all questions, and you are completely colorblind when it comes to shades of gray. So yesterday, I'm watching the fireworks...tear ducts and heart overflowing with pride and gratitude. I'm thinking about bravery and sacrifice and love. I'm looking around me wondering if anyone else is appreciating the "reason for the season," so to speak. And I think to myself (haughtily)... By God, MY kids are going to appreciate the significance of this moment! So I start talking in Big Stuff's ear about why we have fireworks on the 4th of July. It went something like this:

Me: Nice fireworks, huh?
Her: Yep.
Me: Big Stuff, do you know why we have fireworks?
Her: No, why?
Me: Because we want to remember when we became our own country.
Her: You mean Florida?
Me: No, honey, the United States. You know, America.
Her: Does everyone in the world have July 4th? Do they have it in China?
Me: Well, no, only Americans. People in other countries celebrate other stuff. But a long time ago in America, some people wanted us to have our own country instead of being part of Britain.
Her: What's Britain?
Me: (Note to self: Drill it down). That's a country way across the ocean.
Her: What do people in Mexico have?
Me: Cinco de Mayo.
Her: Do they speak Spanish or English?
Me: Yes. Anyway, we wanted to have our own country and be free. A lot of brave people had to fight a war so we could be free.
Her: That's the war B's mommy is in.
Me: No, actually, B's daddy is in that war, but I'm talking about a different war. (Note to self: Avoid talking about wars.) So, remember George Washington?
Her: Yes, he was our first president. Now George Bush is.
Me: (Relieved) Right!!
Her: Mom, does George Bush know George Washington?
Me: You mean personally? No, George Washington lived more than 200 years ago.
Her: That was before I was born.
Me: (Relieved) Yes!
Her: Was he the one who got killed before I was born?
Me: (Ackkkkk!) Killed? No, he died before you were born but he didn't get killed.
Her: Someone shot him.
Me: (Acckkkkk!) No, you're thinking of another president. So anyway..... how do you like being part of the best country on earth?
Her: Good.
Me: (Relieved) Nice fireworks, huh?